Thoughts...

Jason is out of town deer hunting tonight. Anne Riley is asleep. All is quiet... Except the thoughts in my head...
I am thinking about our child in China.
Funny how God works sometimes. I beg Him to make the desires of MY heart HIS desires. Boy did He come through on that one!
See... Again, I say, this taking a leap of faith and surrendering to the calling of adoption... It's HIS plan. It wasn't ours'. It took a good bit of battling it out between us.
Now that we've said "yes", I have the greatest peace I have ever known. It feels SO right. This is what we are supposed to do. Without a doubt. I don't know the end to this story, but my Heavenly Father does.

Want to hear something else crazy?
I feel that our child will be a boy, and his name is Max. How do I know this? I don't know! I just feel it. I've felt it from the beginning. God speaks in many crazy ways, persistant thoughts, dreams, etc.
My very first thoughts of adopting, I kept picturing a boy. Boy after boy. As most girls do, I was thinking of cute names for a boy... the first one that came to me was Max. I see a little Chinese boy named "Max". I thought of more names, but I keep coming back to Max. We'll see how this turns out in the end :)

Other thoughts...
Sometimes, when I am telling a friend for the first time that we are starting the adoption process, I get a twinge of negativity that runs through my head. My thoughts are, I bet they think we are adopting because it's the new TREND... seems like so many people are adopting these days. I hope they don't think we are doing this for attention, and not the right motives. Sometimes I wonder if people believe me when I tell them we feel "called". If you've never been called by God to do something, you really can't understand it!
I worry too much about what others think. Period.
I shouldn't care. I know we are doing this because God asked us to. I would have never just planned this up on my own!
I am chosing to let go of those evil thoughts. Doubts and worries, they are not from God.
I was reminded of this verse this past week:
"Taste and see that the Lord is GOOD. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in Him!"
I have TASTED... and it is GOOD. No turning back. No turning back.